Tuesday, December 16, 2008
RED AND THE SECRET SAUSAGE RECIPE
ME: Were you talking about someone who has a secret recipe over there? Who has a secret recipe?
RED: Oh, ders so many people dat godda secret recipe. Dey've had 'em for years, and dey don't wanna give 'em out, and der stupid for not givin 'em out. They really are, they're stupid. They're stupid...you know where Dentyne's is, the butcher? (I shake my head no) He's been sick, and he's been recooperating and der's a couple people in the family. A couple people in the family, he don't own the property alone, and he's not going to re-open again. It's kiddy corner from Sanford's restaurant. So I talk to, he's related to him, Joe. He's on the board of trustees at the ICC (Italian Community Center) They're talkin about (begins to kind of whisper) they're gonna sell the place, put up a condo in der. Then Joe says dat he...he won't give up the recipe.
ME: Recipe for what?
RED: Sausage. Making sausage. Klements came over der, and dey put a chunk of money down on da table. Bob, you can give him $10 million dollars and he won't take it. He gave Klements only half of the recipe. Only part of it. How stupid can you get? You're going to die, you want to keep the recipe going? And he says the kids don't really want to work.
ME:Do you think he has the recipe memorized, or is it on paper?
PHIL: Aaaah, Red, I'm going to go. You gonna stay here?
RED: Well, that's what we were talking about. (exits with Phil)
Later, Joe, another regular and aquaintance of Red, comes to the counter with a pamphlet on a "tracfone" which is a cheapie phone with prepaid minutes. We discuss the pros and cons.
JOE: ...Dey say you godda buy tree-hundred minutes. I don't need no tree-hundred minutes. You got...you got ninedy days to use dem minutes, otherwise dey bump all dem minutes off the phone.
ME: Yep, that's what it appears to say.
JOE: Tree-hundred minutes? Ah, who am I gonna talk to for tree-hundred minutes?
ME: You could call Red. Then you'll burn through those minutes in no time.
JOE: Ahhhh, that guy. Gimme a break...
Turns my attention to small print in the pamphlet about warranties.