RED AND THE FROZEN TURKEY SNIPER

RED: ....So I turn around on that bridge...

PHIL: Did ya jump off that son of a gun?

RED: I says "dat turkey flew away!" (laughs)

RED: (pointing to Phil) I was telling him, the one day, it was winter, I was going over the Hoan bridge, to go home to Saint Francis. I looked, I said what the hell, that's a pretty good sized turkey. Frozen. Still had the wrapping on it. Probably a guy had it in the back of his pickup truck. And it fell off. He hidda bump or something and it fell off. It was laying against the side of da wall. Sure, when this side hits,it's uh...(demonstrates falling turkey hitting road with hand) it's uh...it's going to tear the plastic a little, but you could clean that off. But I can't stop, sheriff might drive by, I'll get a ticket for stopping. I got to the other side of the bridge, I pulled off, turn around, come back on, pull over and where'dit go? Fly away? Somebody stopped and picked it up, but I wasn't going to take that chance. End up getting a ticket? Not me.

ME: You might have gotten a ticket, but you'd have a free turkey.

RED: Well, it looked like it was still frozen too yet!